Grace is out with the volunteers for a walk around the local area in her wheelchair. I’ve left her to it and am busy with an online course. I do respect Caroline’s commitment to see Grace. She comes over every 2-3 months from San Francisco to spend a few days with her spiritual sister.
I have grown accustomed to seeing Grace in a wheelchair as a result of her Frontotemporal Dementia. It’s hard to witness the decline, but I’m learning to adjust to the changes. Thankfully, her new specialist wheelchair is fantastic. A lovely lady came to measure Grace for it a few weeks ago, and it reclines to allow her to sleep comfortably. It also supports her head when in an upright position. However, there are still some minor adjustments that need to be made, as advised by the physio who has been incredibly kind and attentive.
Lately, I’ve been feeling a bit lost in my relationship status. I’m technically still married to Grace, and we have a strong emotional connection. But we lack physical intimacy and are unable to have the kind of emotional conversations that couples usually have. So, in many ways, I feel like I’m single, and at times I do feel lonely. I don’t mind being alone, but it would be lovely to share my life with someone, snuggle on the sofa, cook together, go shopping, and wake up next to someone special. But I also understand that people may expect me to honour my vows until death do us part. It’s a difficult situation, especially when dealing with the challenges of dementia. Shouldn’t those who are losing partners to dementia deserve companionship too? It’s a complex issue, and finding a new partner comes with its own set of challenges.
I’m tired of constantly taking courses and exams to enhance my CV. Since Christmas, I’ve completed seven courses and five exams, and I’m starting to feel a bit burnt out. This weekend, I have another course to attend, and it’s so dull that I’m finding it hard to stay motivated. It runs from 9 am US Eastern Time until 10 pm Central European Time, so it’s going to be a long day.
