Its ok to apologise, my/your ego can cope with it
I apologised today, despite not being sure I should apologise. I did it because it was the right thing to do, for several reasons and I did need to apologise on reflection. It was test of my ego, because I had to resist my instinct. Your brain naturally wants to say its not your fault and feel you’ve been wronged. But, what did I have to lose by saying I was in the wrong? Perhaps influence, power ….? Because people would look at me differently after publicly apologising. But in the grand scheme of things does it matter. Not to me personally, and in terms of the bigger picture it is the right thing to do.
Having now done it, I felt so relaxed and comfortable with myself. After all, what had I really lost? Nothing.
Feeling so connected to Grace
Grace sits next to me in her wheelchair and you finds the strength to move her hand across to me. She wants to hold my hand. Grace is amazing, because you can see in her face all the strength and commitment she is using. I talk to her more and more these days without consideration for her dementia, like we were having a normal conversation in the past. As I type away on my laptop she just keeps her eyes on me and has a big smile. She makes me feel amazing.
Last night my foot was next to hers, whilst lying the bed, and she keep nudging my foot with her foot. This is one strong and smart women, who manages to work around FTD.
A lady, yesterday, whose husband has FTD, explained that they can tell which parts of his brain have been impacted by FTD. Because, as an example. he struggles to put his right foot down flat on the floor when he tries to walk.
What amazes me is the will and strength of some of those with FTD.
Creative Writing and Spanish
I’ve parked writing my 3rd book for a few days, as I want to do some reading and courses on creative writing. I am really enjoying it too. I always felt I was not good with English and literature when I was a teenager, though I am coming to realise that with the right amount of effort I can do anything.
As for my Spanish, like with Dutch, I keep plugging away each and every day. Eventually I will get there, its ok.
Grace wants cuddles
I just left Grace at the care home, with her being helped to bed. Before I left, she made me laugh (and also very happy_ …
As I was about to leave I said ‘it’s time for ….‘ and she replies ‘cuddles’ with a huge smile. I then say ‘your taking…. ’ and she responds ‘the piss’. She knows exactly what she wants to say
The Future
I need to focus on investing for the future. I can’t do much now, but I can save some income for future purposes. Otherwise, it’s about Spanish, Writing and My Brand. Yep, you could laugh about ‘my brand’, though it’s about how you want to live according to your values.
Feeling Super Positive
I am feeling super positive at the moment. I am definitely in a peak period, as opposed to a trough.
