I spent a few hours with Grace on the sofa, and I am proud to say that I have been helping her nearly walk independently again. I love her to bits.
I am starting to understand my motivations better, or rather, the lack of them. For example, I recently bought a second-hand model railway board and legs, but I am not motivated to work on it. It feels like I’ve done this before, and I don’t have the interest or income to spend a lot of money on it.
I have a list of things to do over the next 12 months, but I still feel lost and empty. I am trying my best to keep moving forward, but I think I am currently sitting on the left-hand side of the dual process model of grief with loss-orientated behaviours rather than restoration-orientated behaviours. I’ve also decided to take a break from swiping and dating for at least two months, which I do not miss.
