‘I miss Grace so much moment’. Feeling a deep sense of guilt about being in Spain without Grace.
Your brain naturally wants to say its not your fault and feel you’ve been wronged
I cooked last night and drunk some wine and crashed out. I did not feel too good about myself this morning
I am having some fun sharing my thoughts on Enzo with his colleagues …
The dynamics have changed with the new care home, but I am definitely sure for the better.
I’ve been up since 0500, waking at around 0300. So using the time to do various things.
I arrive at 0800 and she is sleeping soundly. This CPAP machine is a pain in the arse for me and I am not sleeping.
A new website and blog is coming called ThinkingofGrace.com. The title says it all—Grace will never be forgotten. It’s about the next chapter of David’s life.
A new website and blog is coming called ThinkingofGrace.com. The title says it all—Grace will never be forgotten. It's about the next chapter of David's life.
The day after Grace passed away. I feel empty; perhaps I’m just in shock? I stood in the middle of the entrance hall of Rotterdam station for about five minutes, watching the world go by.…
In the early hours of this morning, Grace took her last breath. Claudia, a very old friend of Grace’s came to see Grace Claudia called Sarah, who in turn called Rutger, and I called Carma.…
Grace hasn’t eaten for over a week, yet she is still holding on. She receives morphine every four hours and a sedative once a day.
Grace is now struggling and remains in bed, and I cling to any remaining connection between us—a kiss, holding her hand, or eye contact. Every moment counts, and I want to see her pass peacefully.
Grace is struggling to eat and drink, and I can feel the weight of despair settling in. I find myself in tears, watching her struggle.
I just want to be with Grace. She’s all smiles, and I’m happy to be with her.
I told Ian I am finishing work at the end of the year. It's time to focus on me, after I lose Grace.
It's all about Grace now. I came to the Netherlands to spend time with Grace.
I spent the whole day with Grace. Rutger and Amber came to visit for a bit, and I naturally let Rutger spend time with his mother. He tried to engage with me when he returned,…
I now need to put together the list of things to finalise for the funeral. Marina asked me lots of questions about the kids, but I said I just don't need more pressure.
I now expect Grace to pass soon. That’s the honest truth regarding her health. Of course, I want to be with her and make her happy. I don’t want her to go, but I know…
I’ve been off work for two days. Why? Because Grace has declined, and I now realise that the end is near. She needs to spend her final days in peace…
A beautiful town and the hotel is amazing. It’s like a little paradise hidden away, beautifully decorated in colonial style. The staff are incredibly friendly, and you can tell it’s a family-run hotel.
Yesterday, I went snorkeling in Cozumel, and it was great to swim with such a large array of beautiful coloured fish.
This holiday has been perfect for giving me time to relax and think. For example, one thing I’m working on is being more targeted with my investing and trying to profit take. I want to…
I’m not feeling too great—sore throat and a horrible cold. I’ve made my way to Cozumel, which turned out to be more straightforward than I ever thought it would be from Isla Mujeres: a ferry…
On Isla Mujeres I’m here on Isla Mujeres, near Cancun, Mexico. It’s a bit rustic yet touristy, which is fine. I’m really enjoying my time here and feel super relaxed.
I am off to Mexico for two weeks, to recharge my batteries and do some writing.
Grace has got her hair coloured and cut this morning. I’ve taken the morning off, so there’s no rush like usual.
I arrived to see Grace yesterday morning, and she didn’t seem well. She wouldn’t look me in the eye, and I suspected she was in pain.
It felt so good to be with Grace. Last night, I went back to see her around 7:30 PM. She had been put to bed, and I lay with her. It was lovely to give…
I wrote to Henny this morning, clearly stating that I don’t want to train with him anymore. It was harsh, but it needed to be said. I see all this anger, and I need to…
I’m feeling calmer and taking a fresh perspective. I definitely don’t enjoy work, but the people are okay, and the pay is fine. I need to find more fulfilment in life. With the gym, I…
Enjoying being in the moment with Grace It was nice being with Grace last night. I didn’t worry about anything; I just enjoyed her company. I hope she felt the same. Hypno thinks I taking…
Second Book Ready to Be Formatted and Published The second book is ready to go, and I’ve just sent Mamun the Word document and cover art, so he can pull the book together. This has…
Feeling Lost with Grace I feel pretty lost with Grace; there isn’t much communication anymore. I look at the wall with my aims on the left side. I’m not doing any of the things I…
Some people are so full of self-importance, thinking their position gives them power over others. Those CHDA people… The other one is Pete Mees – who loves the sound of his own voice. The guy…
Angry with Work Being angry about work isn’t helping. Is it the alcohol, or is it just my anger? I slept for three hours on Grace’s bed yesterday afternoon; I must have been exhausted. But…
Malta and Not Walsall Well, I’m not going to Walsall, near Birmingham in England, for work, as the rollout of that site has been canceled. I’ve called EasyJet and changed my dates and destination to…
Personal Trainer Is a Waste of Space I think Henny can be a waste of space at times. I wonder whether his exercise routines are just money for old rope. I need to address this,…
Too Much Wine! I drank too much last night. Roll on 13th April to help me stop again. I started at the gym again yesterday, and I’m happy about that. I feel a few aches,…
Miserable and Irritated I’m not enjoying my work. I lie in bed thinking I’d rather be doing something other than work. I’ve thrown myself into fixing things there, but it’s just not rewarding at all.…
Back in the Netherlands I’m back in the Netherlands; I returned on Friday. It took a quiet Saturday to recover. I can’t handle these long weeks in terms of hours and travel anymore. I keep…
Into the Rotterdam City Centre with Grace I’m feeling the love for Grace again, and I’m so happy about it. I took Grace into town (Rotterdam) yesterday and bought her a few clothes at Primark,…
Hairdressers for Grace I took Grace to the hairdressers today. I can’t do much for her, but at least I can make her look nice and show that I’m trying to help. I feel like…
Back in Rotterdam and with Grace I’m back in Rotterdam. I brought fresh orange juice for Grace, and she drank it all. I spent most of the day with her. She is happy with me,…
Saying Goodbye to My Career I find myself in uncharted waters. I’ve already started to live on a semi-retired basis by taking as much vacation as I do. I’m not investing in my career at…
Buenos Aires I haven’t finished my second book yet. I’ve struggled in Buenos Aires with a broken phone; I can only pay and withdraw money using my Maestro cards. Initially, they didn’t work because they…
Drinking Again Did I miss two days of my journal? I’ve been drinking every day again, even during the day. It needs to stop. Drinking seems to be the norm here in Brazil, including strong…
Phone Soaked in Sea I underestimated how deep the sea was that I needed to cross, and my phone fell into the water while in my bathing shorts. It started turning on and off and…
Wonderful Call with Grace I had a twenty-minute conversation with Grace today. She was awake and so engaging; it made my day. I’ve realized I need to catch her after lunch, but not too late…
Missing Grace The calls and interactions with Grace are becoming tougher. I miss her; I miss sharing the enjoyment of times like these with her. Wow, we were so connected. How lucky we are. Staying…
Jetlag and Trying to Reach Grace I woke up at 5:00 AM, a combination of insomnia and perhaps some jet lag. Breakfast was okay. I’m off for a massage this morning. I’ve tried to call…
Porto Real I’m in Porto Real, in the middle of Rio state. It’s a beautiful place, and I’m really impressed. It has a classic feel but is also well-maintained and modern. I can’t believe I’m…
I Am So Busy I haven’t written anything for a couple of days. It’s been intense at work, trying to get everything done before I take three weeks off. A stretch of time off that…
Grace Is Good Grace is doing fine. I’ve seen her each day for the last few days. It’s just that the connection is so difficult. Hopefully, the kids will come and see her. I’ve been…
Long Chat with a Nurse About Grace I had a lengthy chat with one of the nurses about Grace’s decline. She sees it too. Maybe Grace has the flu, but my thoughts are that there’s…
Down with a Virus Again! I’m down with a virus again, for over five days, and I feel exhausted. My body is telling me to rest. I need to find a way to relax, but…
Grace Struggles More and More Grace is less verbal and shows less engagement. It gets tougher to draw on my own energy. Before, she gave me some of her energy; now, I need to fill…
Where Is Hans? As agreed through the lawyers, I showed up for lunch at Hellige Boontjes café at Eendrachtsplein in Rotterdam, but there was no sign of Hans from Laurens. Not impressed! Nevertheless, I enjoyed…
George and Isabelle I spoke with George and Isabelle today. George is an old friend and colleague of Grace’s from Logica. What lovely people! They said such kind words about me and Grace regarding how…
I’ve Got Flu A week has passed, and I haven’t written a single entry in my journal. I’ve been struck down by flu. I can’t decide if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.…
Moving Forward Wow, I’ve missed two days of journaling. I’m not angry with myself; I’ve been busy with so many different things. I didn’t see Grace on Friday, and I don’t feel guilty about it.…
Today, I moved Grace’s things to her new room. It’s much more comfortable to work in. Now, I just need to move the photos across. Time to Myself I realize more and more that I…
Saying Sorry to Grace I spent most of the afternoon with Grace yesterday, apologizing for how I’m struggling with our connection. I feel so sorry for her; it’s not her fault. Part of me knows…
I Hate New Year’s Eve I dislike New Year’s Eve because I was on my own. I was in bed by 10:00 PM. Some might argue I need friends here, but I’m not sure about…
A Year with My Toxic Boss I headed to a local café first thing for breakfast. I’ve been working on my second book, A Year with My Toxic Boss, and I’m making great progress. Feeling…
Mamma Mia with Grace Last night, I took Grace to see Mamma Mia at the Nieuwe Luxor Theatre in Rotterdam. Oddly, all the songs were in Dutch. This is something I would never normally choose…
Breakfast and Christmas Dinner for Grace It’s Christmas Day! I made Grace breakfast, including black pudding, bacon, and fried bread, served with orange juice. For lunch, I cooked guinea fowl with the best roast potatoes…
Reflecting on the Year It’s Christmas Eve, and I feel deeply optimistic. I have friends near and far, and I am so fortunate to have met and continue to know them. 2023 has been a…
Breakfast in Bed with Grace I’m still tired but feeling more relaxed. I’m realizing that I need to switch off a bit. I’ve paused my writing and Spanish learning for a few days until I’m…
A new website and blog is coming called ThinkingofGrace.com. The title says it all—Grace will never be forgotten. It's about the next chapter of David's life.
Grace Not Happy in the Living Room Last night, I spoke at length with a nurse after Grace was brought to bed early, around 6:30 PM. Apparently, Grace seemed uncomfortable in the living room, but…
My Sleeping Patterns Are Awful I was awake at 5:00 AM and about to get up, but instead, I slept in until 9:00 AM. I’m so glad I did; I feel like I caught up…
Sleeping with Grace I ended up sleeping with Grace last night, which I hope she enjoyed. I didn’t sleep very well, but I’m glad I was with her, lying by her side. I surprised the…
A new website and blog is coming called ThinkingofGrace.com. The title says it all—Grace will never be forgotten. It's about the next chapter of David's life.
I nearly made it to the gym last night, but I got as far as Beurs metro station in Rotterdam and ended up finding a place where I could get Japanese ramen. I am shattered;…
A new website and blog is coming called ThinkingofGrace.com. The title says it all—Grace will never be forgotten. It's about the next chapter of David's life.
I am tired; I am mentally engaged seven days a week—with Grace, with Spanish, with my book (whenever I have time), and with work. I hope I can be forgiven for taking a morning off.…
A new website and blog is coming called ThinkingofGrace.com. The title says it all—Grace will never be forgotten. It's about the next chapter of David's life.
A new website and blog is coming called ThinkingofGrace.com. The title says it all—Grace will never be forgotten. It's about the next chapter of David's life.
Changing Grace’s Sleeping Routine Grace is sleeping really well. We have changed her routine; unlike at Laurens, she is awake throughout the day and in bed by 8:00 PM. I can see Grace whenever I…
Yesterday we went into town and had hot chocolates with scones and jam. Grace looked so cosy with her coat ...
... I want to take some extended breaks next year. Probably to write.
I am struggling with this CPAP mask, this is just not working for me.
‘I miss Grace so much moment’. Feeling a deep sense of guilt about being in Spain without Grace.
Your brain naturally wants to say its not your fault and feel you’ve been wronged
I cooked last night and drunk some wine and crashed out. I did not feel too good about myself this morning
I am having some fun sharing my thoughts on Enzo with his colleagues ...
The dynamics have changed with the new care home, but I am definitely sure for the better.
I've been up since 0500, waking at around 0300. So using the time to do various things.
I arrive at 0800 and she is sleeping soundly. This CPAP machine is a pain in the arse for me and I am not sleeping.
A new website and blog is coming called ThinkingofGrace.com. The title says it all—Grace will never be forgotten. It's about the next chapter of David's life.
Sleeping with GraceI ended up sleeping with Grace last night. I hope she enjoyed it. I didn’t sleep well, but I’m glad I was there with her. Meeting with Laurens and the LawyersI had a…
I get up and decide to get stuff done. I also go to see Grace first thing to get her tea in bed.
Still Deeply in Love with Grace I am still deeply in love with Grace; there’s no room for me to love anyone else. Although some attention and intimacy would be nice. Rush, Rush, Rush Stop…
She rests in her wheelchair and I could watch her for hours
and I undervalued Grace and her intellect. It was far more than emotional.
So been to the hospital and the steroids have not done the trick.
Grace was so tired last night, she has had quite a few days with me. So I left her in the care home.
It's finally drafted and I think the title is quite punchy and will make potential readers curious.
Grace Brings Out Her Superpowers Again Things are better today. I went to see Grace this morning, and she was so happy to see me. She was verbal and excited—it was wonderful. She wasn’t just…
I nearly made it to the gym last night, but I got as far as Beurs metro station in Rotterdam and ended up finding a place where I could get Japanese ramen. I am shattered;…
I am so glad we went to the football. What a fantastic evening together. The staff and fellow fans were wonderful.
There is a connection with Grace that I cannot get with anyone else. It's such a powerful emotional commitment.
I've had super evening with Grace. Time just drifted by with her and I was content and happy to let it happen.
I enjoy spending time with Grace. I am thankful we do more stuff outside of the care home.
So I've picked up some furniture for Grace's new room. She remains really well.
Somehow in the middle of the night I rip my mask off.
Tonight i put my CAP machine on the first time and Siri is so lazy.
I often feel so sad for Grace. Also some more info on Siri!
Grace is a bit tired, after a busy few days. But otherwise all is well. Looks like Grace is moving to a new care home soon.
So me and Grace met with local British expats last night (some also had travelled from outside Rotterdam)
So colds have largely gone. Laurens is in denial about lots of things. Everyone says it was I that called a prostitute.
One of us has given it to the other. I've had to take the day off work, but I still want to see Grace
We've just had some fresh care shared with us. By some wonderfully kind ladies and children.
If there is a possibility that the nurse called a prostitute then that person should be suspended until .....
15 complaints made to the care home and they say they don't need to respond!
How would you feel if you heard a nurse had called your wife a ......
I found the post that really upset a nurse and I want to give some feedback on what happened.
Grace watched a chess game in the library and we've been invited to a football game.
Yesterday was simply focused day on work, followed by an evening with Grace .
Yesterday I had a good afternoon with Grace in the library. She listened to Boyzone and Take That, whilst I learnt some more Spanish.
I caught covid on the way back from Bali and it wiped me, plus I've been super busy with other things.
I've headed over to Hilary's Harbour for breakfast and then taken a long walk up to the coast
I miss Grace loads, though I know the break (as everyone told me) would do me good ...
I've woke up at a normal time today and yet yesterday I slept an extra 6-7 hours.
After 31 hours of travelling and visa hassle. OMG I feel so ill.
Going through one of the those troughs. Though paperwork for Dubai is now sorted ...
So we could get into the Casino due to rules and the Brazilian restaurant had too many step, so we ...
So we could get into the Casino due to rules and the Brazilian restaurant had too many step, so we ...
I dropped the Dutch hardback version of our book Our Journey with Early Age Dementia at Rotterdam Central Library ...
We are going to do a charity walk on the 16th September, joining others who are also on the FTD journey in the Netherlands ...
We've walked around the Oude Westen area of Rotterdam and had Chinese food for dinner ...
We have headed into Rotterdam to Bazar and I handed over my work stuff ...
We head off to Den Haag to an Indonesian restaurant and I sign off from work ...
We stick to remaining in the car today and drive to Dordrecht ...
We've taken a trip out to Vlaardingen on the metro and the portuguese version of our book is now out ...
I've spent most of the afternoon writing in Dordrecht, before taking Grace out in the evening.
So we finally got back together again on the Monday and both of us were really happy!
On Friday, I finally got around to reading a letter from Laurens. It came from one of the Director's secretaries and was quite amusing.
Still on my own in Normandy, visiting world war 2 sites. Today's update covers gossip, attachment styles and 2% charge.
I’ve decided to drive 610km to Normandy. 3 times charging my electric car. Charging my car 3 times on the way ...
It’s been around 10 days since I last saw Grace. I’ve had lots of good support, in terms of compassion and advice.
This evening, I had a meeting with Sabine and her colleague, Susan. They work for a clinical trials company that focuses on Alzheimer's and FTD.
I suspect something has been said to one of the nurses, as she is very distant ...
Today it was Shepherds pie for all the residents in Grace's care home!
And my concerns about my wife's care are as follows....
I am frustrated. It seems I have become an unnecessary topic of discussion at the care home. The psychologist has reportedly complained about me ...
The paperback version of our book is ready and yet again I've been snitched on ...
I've just do my diet course with Allen Carr and I think this is far too extreme for me ...
The medication is definitely helping Grace sleep better, she has slept well every night since Monday ...
Someone was a bit blunt with me about working next to Grace in the living room at the care home ...
David was the local taxi driver today, taking the ladies to the beach and back. They kindly treated him and Grace to dinner afterwards ...
It was a full-on day. I went to the beach in Rockanje with Grace, Margarida, Isabel, and Maria, where we ...
Grace's brother reaches out to me, their father has passed away. I try to explain as best I can to Grace ...
I’ve spoken with M, who is going to report Grace’s sleep. M agrees with how she is. Medicine is necessary for her ...
Grace's brother reaches out to me, their father has passed away. I try to explain as best I can to Grace ...
I finish my final call and head to the care home. I join Grace and one of the nurses in the shopping area of Rotterdam ...
met with the COO to learn their decision regarding retaining me. The meeting lasted about 15 minutes, and ...
I find it surprising that no one comes to visit Grace in the care home. I wonder if it's because of me? ...
This morning, I allowed myself to sleep in a bit and took care of some basic tasks ...
am sick, with a horrible cough and feeling dreadfully tired. I hear Isabel has the same and is taking antibiotics ...
I wake up and immediately decide that I am done with this course and will finish early. I pack my bag and leave the boat ...
When Grace is gone, I'll lose the only person I really trust and love. Of course, there are other people, but I fear I'll become directionless without Grace.
Wendy has done a fantastic job with Grace's hair and outfit today. As I discuss with the nurses, I don't want Grace to look like a pensioner ...
One of the new nurses is preparing for the residents' lunch and mistakenly sets a place for me, thinking I am a resident ...
I stayed over for a night with Grace, sleeping on a folding bed. It's nice to be with her for the night. She is happy and relaxed, although I have no idea if she feels…
Today, Grace and I went to the court in Rotterdam to attend a hearing (or "zitting" as they call it in Dutch) for a Power of Attorney ...
There is a deep sadness inside of me. Every day counts with Grace. My heart hurts so much for her. I see her big smile as she sees me ...
She had a big smile on her face the whole time. The t-shirt saying, 'I am f@@king awesome!' draws attention ...
Grace and I went with a group of nurses to a lovely funeral for Petty and her husband, Corr. It was a pleasant occasion, very relaxing and positive. He expressed his pleasure that Grace and…
Summer is here again and there are crowds of people on the terraces of the bars that line the streets. It gives me such an empty lonely feeling...
Grace can sometimes have phases when she breathes heavily and rapidly. By lying close to her, I can help control her breathing by slowly inhaling and exhaling. It's amazing how well it works.
I’ve now got an email showing my illness data. My goodness in the last 6 months I’ve been ill for over 2 weeks, in the last 6 months ...
I simply see grace fading away, and there's nothing I can do about it. I also worry that the only memories I'll have of her will be as she is now. I'm not in a…
It was such a fantastic day for me. Spending time with Grace, M and It's heartwarming that they chose to spend their non-working day with us ...
I can't publish what I want too, but I've had s@@t day! I need to punch through my fears!
I haven't been sleeping well, typically waking up 2-3 times between 04:00 and 06:30. So, it has been suggested that I try Melatonin. Melatonin is available over the counter and apparently helps improve sleep....
I did a really silly thing with Grace yesterday when I first arrived at the care home. I told her, ‘Do you want to suck my ****?; and in response ...
I met with C yesterday, and we had a wonderful afternoon and evening in Rotterdam. It was a relaxed and easy-going conversation, a really good connection. She made me .....
Where do I start? It’s been a long day, but I’m making progress, even if today’s tasks felt minor. I’ve been chatting with a nice woman who lives near Tilburg. Though, I’ve come to enjoy…
I realised tonight why I did not enjoy going into business with others. After doing a piece on my own values, I found that empowerment is one of my top two values – the ability…
Waiting for the Cliff Edge I feel like I am waiting for the cliff edge to come, or rather, I keep getting closer and closer to the cliff edge. However, this time I am absolutely…
I dropped an email today to my Line Manager, HR and COO asking if they can let me know by the end of the month if they want to retain me?
There's no doubt that Grace's condition is declining. For others who see her less frequently, the change is even more apparent. If I can notice it, then her decline must be quite significant for others.
She is still very nervous walking into groups and clings to me tightly, but I want her to overcome this fear. The only concern I have is when she starts breathing heavily...
Today, I felt guilty because I picked a fight. It wasn’t funny and not something I’d put in my book normally. My manager did something that made her an easy target for my frustration. She…
I can feel that I need to start a new chapter. I used to always describe a chapter as something that occurred over several years, but it feels like these windows of time are becoming…
I realized tonight why I did not enjoy going into business with others. After doing a piece on my own values, I found that empowerment is one of my top two values – the ability…
Listening to Dua Lipa’s “Be the One” Lately, I’ve been feeling tired and demotivated, with little interest in work. This is quite the contrast from what I expressed to the COO just last Friday. I…
I spent a few hours with Grace on the sofa, and I am proud to say that I have been helping her nearly walk independently again. I love her to bits. I am starting to…
Grace came the apartment, where we enjoyed tea, cake, and music together. It was struggle getting up the stairs but we made it. Two flights took her 30 minutes. I know she tried with all…
I spent some time in the office, which is uncommon for me. The new COO wanted to meet with me, and we had a really good conversation. He seems like a good guy! I did…
Will they retain me at work? Wow! What a difference 24 hours makes. I slept well and feel so much better. So many nice responses to my posts on Facebook and Instagram. It truly makes…
I’m grateful for a good night’s sleep and positive feedback from my recent social media posts. A simple “like” or positive comment can really make someone’s day, so I try to do the same for…
I had the pleasure of experiencing a 24-hour blood pressure meter! It’s buzzing three times an hour, taking measurements and hanging around my neck like a fashion statement. I’ve had to explain to everyone why…
Frustrating day and feeling angry Work is shit. I come back from a week off and little or no progress is made across several things. All the energy is being drawn out of me. I’ve…
I am back in Rotterdam and go straight to see Grace. I immediately feel energy and positivity return. Being back in my own space also helped. When I see her, she had a huge smile…
I am missing Grace! Its Thursday and I’ve only been away since Sunday evening, but I miss seeing her. I feel a bit lost as well, as my routine has been broken. I find myself…
I am recharging in Spain, even though I am doing a full-time online training course and other things. I feel tired, which I think means I’ve switched off the adrenaline supply I normally depend on.…
I have returned to Spain, and although it’s comfortable, I don’t feel the same pull towards it as I used to. My heart is in Rotterdam with Grace, and the apartment there feels like home.…
As you can see from the photo, it was like being at home. Sitting in front of the TV with my feet up. Last night I put my new noise cancelling headphones ......
Today I took Grace for a short walk through the building where the care home is located. She is very nervous walking on her own, and grabs tightly hold of me, but otherwise she is…
IToday I took Grace for a short walk through the building where the care home is located. She is very nervous walking on her own, and grabs tightly hold of me, but otherwise she is…
Grace is out with the volunteers for a walk around the local area in her wheelchair. I’ve left her to it and am busy with an online course. I do respect Caroline’s commitment to see…
It crosses my mind again today that my relationship status is definitely in limbo. I am married to Grace and there remains a strong emotional connection, though bar some sweet kisses there is no real…
I have heard a customer has gone ballistic about something (not caused by me). But a colleague is really upset that I was not there for the call, as I was off sick (taking care…
There is an issue with people hogging public electric charging points, and one particular individual left their car there for four days. The situation was frustrating, as it was the third time this had happened…
The a@@ehole who left his car a public charging spot for 4 days has moved his car. After I taped over his windscreen what I thought! This is third vehicle owner in recent weeks, and…
Today I took Grace for a short walk through the building where the care home is located. She is very nervous walking on her own, and grabs tightly hold of me, but otherwise she is…
This evening I hurt so much. I can feel that raw pain in my heart. On the outside I am full of anger. The tears just roll down my cheeks. I feel deeply alone, deeply…
I put Grace’s favourite songs on my new noise-cancelling headphones, including Eros Ramazzotti and George Michael. Grace sang along, and it was the most active and engaged I’d seen her in a while. Isabel is…
It was my last day of therapy today and honestly it has run its course. I now need to continue to embed the changes I am making to my lifestyle. I am less angry, I…
My company mobile number has been given to someone else WTF! My expenses have also been stuck in the system for over a month. Despite these frustrations, I am relatively calm and focused on my…
I signed a form stating that Grace needs a higher level of care to help the care home receive more funding. Unfortunately, her condition is declining, and being in a wheelchair is not making things…
I’ve had a challenging day today, despite trying my best to be kind to myself. Overloading myself with commitments is making me realize that I may have to drop a commitment, fail an exam, or…
The nurses explained to me that Grace is walking again today with the help of the physio. Apparently, she even walked from her bed to the bathroom this morning. I cannot express how pleased I…
I am sitting in bed, feeling tired and weak, having contracted some sort of stomach bug. Everything has been going through me since Sunday evening, the 15th. I am literally having water come out of…
7th January: Recovering from the last few days I slept until midday and visited Grace in the afternoon. She was in her bed in her room, and I was told she had been doing her…
I received a call from the hospital around 10:00 in the morning, asking if I could make my way there. They wanted the physiotherapist to show me some exercises for Grace, and they planned to…
I headed straight to the hospital at 0900 to check on Grace. Thankfully, she had been moved to a private room and seemed quite relaxed. Her surgery was scheduled for the day, and I decided…
I began my morning with a routine visit from the handyman, who was tasked with putting up my dartboard and TV. However, during the process, he accidentally dropped the dartboard and created a large hole…
However, the day was not without its challenges. I visited Grace, but I wasn’t there for longer than 15 minutes. I can’t tell you how much it hurts to see her the way she is.…
Christmas Eve I spent a quiet Christmas with Grace. On Christmas Eve, the nurses informed me that they would involve a physiotherapist to help Grace with walking. They explained that her FTD dementia might be…
I spent nearly four hours this evening in the care home. When I arrived in the living room, I saw Grace sitting at the table in a wheelchair, eating with a pair of orange-framed sunglasses.…
Grace still cannot walk and is in a wheel chair. The nurses want her to go to the hospital for scans. I drop everything and go over to her there. Otherwise (and this never would…
We went to an event planned for families and it was so wonderful. I really enjoyed my evening with Grace and other residents and nurses. Grace was really happy and I helped her with the…
Last night, I decided to use a sunbed with strong UV lights. I ended up glowing afterwards, like the Ready Brek boy from the UK TV advert. This means I burnt myself on both the…
I also spoke to the resident nurse who deals with medical matters, about donating Grace’s brain for research purposes. She was very kind and understanding, explaining that because Grace has early-age dementia, her brain would…
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