Finalising Funeral Plans
I now need to put together the list of things to finalise for the funeral. I’ve changed the location to the yacht club at Hillegersberg. Marina asked me lots of questions about the kids, but I said I just don’t need more pressure on my shoulders. I don’t want to be the go-between. Coincidentally, Sarah and Carma have come to visit Grace today.
I noticed that I’m reluctant to build any close relationships with the care home. I don’t accept their offers of meals, etc.
God, I need to find more energy! My batteries feel so flat.
I’m not doing anything with my books right now, but that’s okay. I need to focus on languages instead.
What I need to avoid is just existing. It feels like a second phase of grief has kicked in, and I’m struggling to cope with it. I think I just need to be patient. This is the time when I feel exposed and lonely, when I need to be taken care of.
