Listening to Dua Lipa’s “Be the One”
Lately, I’ve been feeling tired and demotivated, with little interest in work. This is quite the contrast from what I expressed to the COO just last Friday. I find myself awake at 4 am, lacking the energy to get up. I’m on the search for inspiration to help me overcome my worries now and in the future.
Yesterday, I spoke with M and another nurse about Grace. As I’ve mentioned in this blog and to them, I’m in the Netherlands for Grace, and I will stay as long as she is alive. However, there’s an impending cliff edge that I must face.
Ksenia visited to help install new handles on the interior doors and encouraged me to socialize. While I know she’s right, visiting Grace at the care home feels like enough for me. Ksenia pointed out that I’ve become distant from others, which is true. I’ve grown used to and comfortable with my own company, which is one reason (though not the primary one) I don’t want to go to the office.
I recently uploaded my book, feeling a mix of relief and happiness. Despite this, I don’t think it’s as good as it could have been. I’m struggling to find my next focus – more Dutch exams, a new book, a blog, or a podcast? Unfortunately, I lack motivation for any of these options.
I provided Tina with a ChatGPT-translated Spanish version of my book, curious to see how effective the translation is. I hope I haven’t upset her. Fortunately, she messaged me back this morning saying it was alright and that she had speed-read the Spanish version.
I’ve decided to exclude any content related to my new book from the blog to avoid giving anything away.
I need to find a way to move forward.
