I felt a bit guilty; I have not been trying hard enough to lose weight in recent days. I am well below my target for today and the next few days, thanks to my stomach bug last week. My fasting ends around 1:30 pm today, rather than around 3-4 pm, and then I plan to eat a lot of pasta and cake this evening.
On my way to the physio today, I ran into Grace’s cousin. I can’t tell if he recognized me, since I was wearing a winter hat. It feels awkward for a moment, but then I move on.
I arrived at the care home around 2:00 PM, and the nurses, including the stunning Wendy, explained that they had just taken her to her room and bed. I went to see her, and she had a big smile. I returned to the living room and worked for a bit, then Grace appeared in the wheelchair. I decided to help her out of the wheelchair, and we did a lap of the residential area. She was walking – wow! I am so proud of her. It’s been three weeks since her operation, and she is doing just fine.
Then the physio arrived, and we went up to the gym, and Grace was cycling on the bike, and then she did another lap walking. The physio explained that she is building Grace up more and more. I whispered to Grace, “fucking amazing,” and she repeated it out loud, much to the amusement of the physio.
I spent five hours today at the care home. The duration of my visits has become a matter of hours now, as opposed to around an hour a few months back. We have really got our connection back, kissing from time to time and holding hands. I now come prepared with a book to read, work to do, or a book to write. When I leave now, I feel a bit sad. I can see Grace looking over at me. Iris, one of the nurses, explained that the other night when I did not come, Grace had tears down her cheek and said she missed me.
About nine months ago, someone well-meaning said that perhaps it was not healthy to see Grace so much, and I have to say, I definitely took on board what they said. However, where I see myself now is fully appreciating spending time with Grace. I am aware that my time with Grace is limited, but I find great pleasure in focusing on her. When the therapist suggested that I put up some photos of Grace in the apartment, I wasn’t sure if it would create an unhealthy shrine. However, the reality has been different as I often talk to her photos and find joy in seeing her. Some might say that our relationship was never perfect, but there’s no harm in recalling the good memories (of which there are many).”
