Struggling to Connect with Grace
There’s no doubt that Grace’s condition is declining. For others who see her less frequently, the change is even more apparent. If I can notice it, then her decline must be quite significant for others.
Connecting with Grace has become increasingly difficult for me. I still spend 3-4 hours in the care home each day, helping her eat (though Wendy kindly assisted with lunch today), sitting with her and watching TV, reading a book while she’s next to me, or working on my new book.
Grace now struggles a lot with eating. She seems to start falling asleep, then wakes up, only to repeat the cycle. It’s as if anything that requires active engagement from Grace tires her out very quickly. Likewise, when she walks, she’s very nervous and clings tightly to me. When we sit back down, it takes some time for her to calm down, and she’s often exhausted.
Song of the Day: “Pearls” by Sade
Missing Intimacy and Learning to Live with It
I miss intimacy and companionship. However, I’ve realized that I’m not ready to share with someone else what I give to Grace. I feel like I’ve already let her down, and I don’t want to do that again.
x’s Black Jogging Trousers
Yes, x, I noticed you were wearing black jogging trousers today, as opposed to gray!
